Was thinking to myself maybe I need anger management class... do I? Felt like I've got so much anger inside myself that I'm literally burning from head to toe.
Have been very pissed off by clients for the past few weeks or perhaps months, but yet I couldn't bark at them, though I felt like yelling " Just gimme the bloody documents!!! You are not bringing them with you when you are six feet under!!!" Well, to be true to myself, they are making my life one hell of a nightmare because of my stupid mistake in late August. So, I've been gulping my pride and apologizing to the respective bastards and bitches.
Couldn't release my anger to my colleagues, because that would be unprofessional and the most solid reason for not being able to do that is because, I'm still a super duper junior in the firm... No subordinates for me to bully yet.
Tried complaining to my friends, but too much complaining makes me feel like I'm totally selfish and self-absorbed. Which in fact some of them are already claiming that behind my back... But man, I'm tired of apologizing to colleagues and clients, just gimme a break!
Last year at this time, I could've released my anger to this particular unfortunate man, but sad to say, he doesn't exist in my life anymore. (should do some man-hunt in near future, helps in anger management, or perhaps anger absorbent)
Last but not least, it's the family members of course. They are the ones I've taken granted for and I knew would always be there for me. But on second thought, maybe I should just spare them the bother and not let them be worried of me. Frankly speaking, my mom has had enough of my tantrums during my "balik kampung time", and I felt guilty for my lack of filial piety.
Possible to find solace in alcohol, but my bloody credit card statements are showing horrifying figures. What can I do other than blog... the emotion dump-site!