I thought I should only be writing this at least 12 months post the incident, but to hell with it, I've got the inspiration at this moment and I should thank him for the inspiration. So here it goes...
Do I still hate him? [Yes] Do I still feel for him? [No] Then why do I still hate him? [BELOW]
I usually consider myself as quite a forgiver, though at times I take forgiveness more than I give them. But with this particular person, and with that amount of betrayal, I'm sad and not proud to say this, but here it goes... I CAN'T FORGIVE HIM
I was an inch close to classifying him as an 'old friend' when he stopped all means of contacting me in the middle of the night for a few months. However, few days ago, I received a gesture from him for the sake of 'an old friend' or 'patching things up' or 'whatsoever reasons', which ironically makes the hatred within me flamed itself again.
This I can proudly say, I knew him too well. He would be at least 99% drunk or high to be making such a gesture in the middle of the night; otherwise he would not have the courage to do so. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate people for being courageous after a few alcoholic cuppas.
The fact is he previously made his huge MISTAKE in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT when he was DRUNK [claimed by him], and now he's asking for FORGIVENESS in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT when he's DRUNK AGAIN... Let's put it short, instead of mending his faults, he's just simply highlighting them to me.
When applied to him, apologizing or doing whatever brave actions after a couple of drinks, is not an act of bravery, but an act of cowardice.
P:S For that pitiful man I've been shitting all over this post, I would like to take this chance to dedicate a special message to him, "I'm not sorry and I hate you."