Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Monday Blues

Woke up this morning with a terrible headache. The moment the pain strike through my brain cells, I wished I could have strangled W.E. to cruel death. The thought of it left myself with a malicious smile pasted across my face. That was how I began my monday morning, with some fantasy which only myself could understand...

By mid-day, my head was pondering either due to the lack of sleep or the excess alcohol. Walked in and out of client's place for the sake of some countless cigarrete breaks, which was the least convenient as they did not issued me a temporary pass, resulting in myself pressing on the door bell with the cliche tone of , "Ding dong.. Ding dong..."

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Day dreaming in the office

It's freezing in the office today, particularly when I'm wearing a sheer blouse. Work is piling up but yet here I am, day-dreaming and blogging while people are paving up and down in front of me. Cheryl is going to kill me when she returns and realised I've done nothing.

Scrolled through the P&L, which seriously disinterest me... Why do I care if the export or domestic sales has increased or decreased?

Where has all the motivation in work gone? Where has the ambitious girl went to? Drown somewhere in the deep sea of audit where you no longer finds value in the work that you do....

I hate my job but it seems pathetic that although I hate it, but yet I'm doing nothing about it. Don't even want to raise the topic in front of friends. For the fear of a comment such as, "If you hate your job so much, why aren't you doing anything about that fact. Quit whining and do something."

Maybe its time to do some soul searching. To discover for myself, what really interest me other than alcohol... Sounds very alcoholic and problematic. Disgusted by the fact that I'm this pathetic person.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Non-chilled water in the fridge

It was supposed to be a relaxing evening at my place when he suggested we have some home-cooked food and GI Joe together. I was thinking, "That's nice.. We can curl up together while watching movies and have some good sex later...." He even offerred to be the Chef of the Night. Knowing he wasn't exactly gifted in cooking, I counter offerred him instead. So there, we had fettucini served in cream & herbs, which was one of my least favourite sauce. Though he suggested we can have it in other sauces, I decided to take an adventurous try with it, since he usually prefer creamy sauce.

In another 30 minutes or so, dinner was served. In another 10 minutes or so, I began pouting. I still hate cream sauce. I hastily pushed aside my dinner. He tried to be considerate by offering me the beef cubes in the pasta. But yet, I was still upset with my dinner.

No wonder there's saying, a hungry man is an angry man. I reached for some chilled water in the fridge, but only to realise that there were non in the fridge. The irritating man in my life finished the chilled water in the fridge without refilling it. I grumbled a bit with his usual response of "OH".

Pacing forth and back around the tiny living room, as if there were a lot of square feets for me to pace around, the frustation inside me began to burn itself up... After a couple of minutes, he reached for the not-yet-chilled jar of water in the fridge, took a sip of it and turn to me saying, "You want some?"

That's the moment when I lost my patience and snapped to him, "How to drink? It's not chilled!"

There goes our night. The irritating man was offended by my snapping. The rest of the night ended up with nothing but silence. I tried making up, pouting my lips for a kiss and with his least interested response, I got even more frustated. He left my place when it was barely midnight with some lame excuses of fatigue and work and stuff.

After he left my place, I buzzed his phone asking if there is anything wrong, when in actual fact I just wanted to confirm that his sudden moodiness was due to my snapping and guess what? Yes, it was. I thought I wanted to solve the problem there and then, but then again, he said, "Let's call it a night. I don't want you to end up screaming at the top of your lungs again."

And that was our idea of a relaxing evening.....

Friday, October 16, 2009

Q&A Session

One of the boys in RPX asked me,"Sister, when will a girl be old?"

I was speechless for a moment, thinking to myself, what kind of a question is that?

I replied him, "Well, you can always be young at heart."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Keeping a Promise

She typed and typed as though there were so many stories to tell... After a while, her speed typing screeched to a halt as if the whole world was still. Nothing seemed to have mattered more than those tiny little words in the screen in front of her and the screen, in contrast to her dark room, was brighter than it would have been usually.

She read through the story and she scrutinized every single word that she had written. Then she rested her fingers on the backspace button, giving it another thought. Speaking out aloud, "Nope, this is not the way...." And she backspaced all the tiny little words.

A promise is a promise, especially when it is one that we made to ourselves.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Mina Rempit, Yet another drunk me, Ciggies delivery & Run over by a truck!

Highlight of my yesterday:

Went to the community outreached program organized by my firm. I find it fun to teach. And the kids are somehow adorable. Though they like to tease me, calling me nicknames of "mina rempit" and "hantu". I was speechless. Boys will be boys :)

Reached home at almost 6. Captain called me for some drinks at Wiki Bar in BSC. Went along with it and we had Mccallan single malt whiskey. Very smooth. At 9pm and after a few (lost count) drinks, I was beginning to be clumsy (slipped and broke a glass), high (speaking louder than the usual sober me) and sleepy (sleepy is sleepy, no need to further elaborate.

Managed to reach home safely with some minor scratches on my car. Immediately hit the bed.

Wide awake at 3a.m. Facebook and msn non-stop till five plus. Told a friend on msn that I finished my ciggies and was craving for a puff but it did not seem to be a wise move to go out alone in the middle of the night to get myself another pack. The friend offered me ciggies delivery. :P

He reached my place with the promised ciggies and we chatted till 6a.m. I had another few more cans of beer. Offered him some but he said no thanks. After the few cans, I was high again. Bid goodbye and I hit the bed again.

Highlight of my today:

HANG OVER. FELT LIKE I WAS RUN OVER BY A TRUCK.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Almost a Good Anniversary

Being the usual stubborn me, I've never failed to do things in my own way, not necessarily the correct way.

With a can of beer in my hand, I closed my eyes and try to visualise how different things could have been if only I've listened to L. And at this very moment, I speak out aloud to myself as if L were sittng next to me, "Gosh, you are so damn right! But L, there's no turning back now. It's too late for me to listen to your advise isn't it L."

Damn, my right fist is now all swollen and with bruises.

And I wonder if I should be admitting myself to "Alcoholic Rehab" or "Anger Management Rehab". Perhaps both...

With the birds chirping and the sun rising, I feel my heavy eyelids.

Stop wallowing in self pity...

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Don't pick up the phone

There's this irritation that when you make a call...

"Tuutt tut.. tuutt tut.. tuutt tut.. AND IT GOES AS..."

"The number you have dialed is currently not available, please try again later."

And I felt like throwing my phone away, except that it costs me more than 1k and I'm not stupid enough to do that.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Laments

My horoscope (KERBAU) for the day:

Try not to get yourself too wrapped up in any big decisions today -- you need to mull and mull until you know for sure, and that might take a long time! If anyone is breathing down your neck, tell them off.

Hmm.. Have to say, its kinda true. Having been with the firm for one year plus... Have I learnt? Yes... Do I feel appreciated? No...

And when I finally tendered... How does the story goes? I get people around the firm asking me to reconsider, telling me the pay will pick up someday soon, telling me that I get to work in bigger clients here, telling me that they will book me for jobs (sounds like a prostistute for a sec to me)... Yeah I'm not finished yet, the list is non-exhaustive... Asking me what do I desire, asking me what are the pushbacks to result me in making such a decision, asking me where I'm going (to find out if its their audit clients, especially sec restricted clients, for compliance purposes... If you are an auditor, you know what I'm talking about.. Otherwise, sorry.. you're just non accounting based :P)

Well, previously being a staff whom doesn't feel very much appreciated... I somehow felt some happiness that finally those at the top are paying some attention to me (Yes, bosses out there, do show more caring to your staff please) Literally, I felt like I'm a kid, that the parents have not given enough of attention to. And after some rebellious actions taken, they are finally noticing you...

Another school of thought from Cat would be...

"So what if the office cubicles, systems, pantry, coffee machines, vendor machines & etc etc ... are very cool??? We don't own the office and its not our home."

"So what if we work on very big and well-known MNCs??? The fees doesn't go into our pockets."

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Beer at $3.30 per glass and the consequences

Beer at $3.30 per glass. Knowing me, I reached the place before most people did. And the rest of it is history.

C asked if I want to leave my car behind and being the typical drinker, I simply brushed off the matter telling him, "Nah, I can drive." And he said, "Alright, I'll tail you home."

Congested traffic in KL and knowing me again, I cut queue. Yeah, curse me. And I guessed that was how he lost me in the traffic.

Reached PJ. Eyes getting a bit droopy. Gave myself a few slaps in the face (not very hard one lar) to keep myself awake.

Congested traffic (again) in PJ. And BANG! I dozed off while I was driving.

Took a look at my car and then the victim's car. Victim's car: Bumper slightly dented. My car: Bumper VERY dented. Radiator leaking. Head lights dangling. WTF!!!!!

Stood there like a stupid woman for a few minutes and scratched my head a lil bit. What's next? Yeah, call C. Reached for my hand phone and the battery was dead at the least convenient time.

Walked up to the victim, "Bang, boleh pinjam talipon sekejap. Nak call I punya member."

C reached the scene. Gave me the "LOOK" or "STARE" and I........................... gave him my best smile :)

With the strong wind blowing on my face, my unruly hair blinding my sight and the alcohol working its magic on my brains, I signed off the tiny piece of paper presented to me by the agents of "SYKT THONG HING MOTOR SDN BHD" which is located in "557, BATU 3 1/2 JALAN IPOH, 51200 KUALA LUMPUR." (as per the name card)

On the way home, C was making endless calls to audit if the fellows are genuine agents or "CON MEN". And what did I do? I complained, "Why are you referring me to your friend as a friend instead of a girlfriend?" Yeah, women and the way they react to crisis.

Reached home and with the alcohol still working on me, I listened attentively to Cat's story of the day, "Carls' Junior & Cupcakes" with no woes on my mind of my car which is still stranded in the middle of sprint highway.

Slept the alcohol away. Woke up. Gave C a call. Comforted him on his bad day and how I'm going to manage the police report and etc etc etc. That's weird but a neccessity in order to avoid the possibility of him banging his head against the wall or stabbing himself with a knife for dating me. "Kik Kau Sei Yan"

Switched on the msn and W.E called out of concern. At least now I got myself a driver to the police station tomorrow morning. Following that, I repeatedly told W.E on the phone, "No worries, I'm fine, I'm ok, no injuries, just a minor accident, not very upset", which left him speechless on how he could or should comfort me on my day. Man, don't this woman know how to shut up and listen at times.

Now that it's 5am in the morning with the Muslim prayers blasting with speakers greater than altec lansing and that I'm sober, the worries starts making their way to my mind. Great, my car registration card is in Iph which implies that I can't conceal the accident from my mom. Fantastic, I'm gonna take cab for another 1 month or so. Fabulous, I signed off some piece of paper offerred by some strangers.

More of those beer at $3.30 per glass????? No comment. FYI, the place is MarketPlace located near Jln Yap Kwan Seng. 5pm to 7pm.

Monday, July 13, 2009

CAPS & F

F!

FUCK!!

FUCKER!!!

FUCKING!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!

FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!

FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I JUST LOVE MY BLOG.. NO MATTER HOW MANY CAPS WORDS I WANNA TYPE AND NO MATTER HOW MANY F WORDS I WANNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, IT JUST QUIETLY LET ME DO SO. AND ONE THING FOR SURE, IT CAN'T AND EVEN IF IT CAN, IT WON'T RETURN ME TWICE OR THRICE THE MANY F WORDS I'VE TYPED ABOVE. SUCH SWEETNESS~

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What's going on my mind?

Once bitten twice shy.....

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What If?

Do you believe in your own intuition? Very often I felt that the particular matter doesn't seem to be right, but yet I would simply brush off the thought from my mind and refused to be led by my own intuition, judging it as some silly thoughts without substantial facts. At times I wonder if only I had followed my own intuition, things could have been very different...

Say if I've listened to that tiny voice at the back of my mind that being an air-hostess seems to fit myself better and took up the offer from SIA, I wonder where I would be at this moment...

Say if I've listened to that tiny voice at the back of my mind that I should quit my first job and took up the offer in my desired specialisation, I wonder if I could have been more motivated in work than I am presently...

Say if I've listened to that tiny voice at the back of my mind that we should not have paid that much of hard and real cash to the realty agent prior to meeting up with the owner, I wonder if we would have this possibility of being stranded on the street without a shelter of ourselves...

I understand these are just a bunch of meaningless and lame questions and thoughts of "What if?", but I just can't help but recall them to doubt my current decisions

Should I venture into this newly desired career and quit being stubborn in doing something that I am obviously not talented with...

I wish at this minute, there's just a guardian or mentor that would sternly instruct me on my next move, without allowing me to have any opinion of my ownself. But alas, we are adults surviving in this hectic and fast-moving city. We are no longer kids to be pampered by our parents that we would always care and love.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A quote - Women

"Women... out of passionate love choose not to love you anymore..."

Its just a very strong quote which seems to stay vivid in my mind since the moment I came along it from a book.

Friday, May 8, 2009

22/4/2009 to 1/5/2009

Wednesday 22/4/2009: C called me up for a drink with WS and it turned out to be a mini suprise party for me. Touched!

Thursday 23/4/2009: Went to Hennessy Artistry Party with freeflow of Hennessy of course till 11pm. Fantastic!

Friday 24/4/2009: Went for dinner with some friends in PJ and they served the biggest crab I ever had. Yummy!

Saturday 25/4/2009: Went for karaoke with some girlfriends in Iph, having bottomless beer. Got myself totally wasted!

Sunday 26/4/2009: Attended dinner with some girlfriends in Iph. It was a busy night for the restaurant and when dinner was finally served, we dig ourself in .. Famine!

Thursday 30/4/2009: He surprised me with a banquet of flowers. Yeah man, that's my sweetie. *Grinning*

Friday 1/5/2009: He brought me to a nice and cozy restaurant in hartamas and we had ribs as our dinner. Sweet!

Along with the above, I turned 26 years old.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Anger at 4am

It has been quite some time since I felt this rush of anger to my head and my heart.

Somehow in the past two years, I felt that I've managed my anger quite well. Close friends whom have known me for years would have always described me as dominant, aggressive, impatient, rebellious, selfish, insensitive and hot tempered. Somehow I've never been annoyed by their comments as I was happy being who ever I was.

How did I tone down or perhaps how did I belief myself has toned down? After being single for quite some time and after being in the auditing line for quite some time again, I managed to control my anger, I believe to a certain extent. Superiors would still quote me as an impatient staff, but I'm pretty sure I've improved a lot, as compared to whom I was few years back. Maybe what they say is partly true, as we grow or as we mature, we tend to grow rational and hence controlling our own dislikes and irritation and hence the anger.

But at this moment, I really feel like bursting with betrayal, anger and irritation. Have you ever been so angry that you feel there's a flame burning in yourself? That you couldn't sit still for a second just because you are too angry? This is exactly how I feel at this moment and I wonder how should I react to this feeling of mine. Gulp it? Throw a tantrum? Raise my voice for no apparent reason? Throw things? Lay awake on the bed? Chain smoke? Pour myself another vodka? Talk through the anger with somebody? Or should I just smile to the rest of the world tomorrow as if there's nothing in this world that could bother me more.......

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tears

In wee morning as they drove home, tears rolled down her cheeks. She thought those were just silent tears that would go unnoticeable. Maybe it was because of her trembling lips or maybe it was because he was watching closely, but somehow he noticed as he reached over and pull a piece of tissue for her to dry the tears on her cheeks. Out of concern or curiosity, he asked if there's anything wrong. She quickly answered no, which just adds on to the complexity. The next morning they went for their usual Sunday breakfast. As she requested, the matter was not spoken of again.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Two years of you and me

PY: So leaving tomorrow... Excited?
BT: My lifestyle will change from it. Don't know if I will get use to the two years there.
PY: You will. Time flies, two years will pass without noticing.
BT: Yup, in two years time, flying life. Hohoho
PY: In two years time, I'll be 28
BT: By 28, you'll be married.
PY: By 28, I'll be old.

I'm a lil bit scared of growing up/old.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Alcoholic Me

People who knows me well would simply describe me as an alcoholic. I drink when I'm on holiday, I drink when I'm stressed, I drink when I'm hippy and I still drink when my eyes are droopy as I type these words.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Stillness of Starbucks

It was raining cats and dogs... At Starbucks, the Curve, I took a sip of my favourite iced caramel marchiato as I watched the people around me.

At the table across mine, I saw two middle-aged women having the hard time of their life trying to settle their demanding kids. The kids seem to reach barely the age of five. I wonder to myself what are they doing with their kids in starbucks. Are children actually allowed to take coffee? Alright, I know starbucks does serve non-coffee drinks. But c'mon, starbucks and kids, not a good combination. I wondered if the day will come for me to have my own kids. I shuddered at the thought of myself being a mother. Selfish.

At the table behind mine, I saw three attractive girls in their early twenties. With their heads close to each other, I presumed they were spilling to each other some juicy gossips. I took a look at their dressing. One of them had some light make-up on, an off-shoulder blouse and a pair of super-short shorts. Her skin colour, translucent. Darn, they look hot! As compared to myself, I looked like I've just walked out of a night market. Polo t-shirt, khakis and a pair of slippers covered with dirt from everywhere. Not to mention my dull skin, after all these years of heavy smoking. Envious.

At the table next to mine, there were these negros. They were happily chatting away to each other. I heard some heavy laughter, gazing over I saw their big white teeth and their darkly chocolate skin. What a contrast! Hmm.. How come they are always so chirpy, happy and easy going? Will I ever learn to be happy with simple things in life? Complicating.

Sitting across me, my buddy was boasting to me his adventure during his backpacking in Melbourne recently. The fellow lost his passport one day before boarding the plane home to Malaysia. And he actually told me he finds it exciting, feeling a part of him has grown through the experience of himself losing the passport. Yeah, read the above three sentence again please. I bet you feel the need to roll your eyes, which was what I did to him. Childish.

I tried to be at my good manners but I just couldn't hang on to his conversation with my 100% attention. My mind was adrift somewhere else. Partly because of him, I envy that he's going through some changes for good in his life. Thinking to myself, when will I ever have the courage to do the things that I've always wanted to do in my life....... Daydreaming.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Depression on Wednesday Night

Can I just type this repeatedly .... I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED & I'M DEPRESSED

I'M DEPRESSED because my accounts won't balance just because some idiot forgotten to reverse the prior year adjustment taken up in current year. Ok, I know you won't understand a single thing that I'm writing here, unless you are an auditor.

I'M DEPRESSED because I had to have my home-brought lunch with some indian lady in the pantry. I don't know her and she just happened to be sitted at the same table with me while I'm having lunch on my own. I hate lunch with strangers.

I'M DEPRESSED because I did not have my dinner tonight and I'm annoyed that he's still playing pool after I told him I'm hungry.

I'M DEPRESSED because I had to rush home from my happy hour session after receiving her call instructing me to go home and replicate my work just so that she can brief me on tomorrow's work. Ok, with the alcohol consumption, none of the things she said after that went in my brain.

I'M DEPRESSED because I'm drinking vodka at home while my girlfriends are enjoying themselves in Quattro. On top of that, they told me they will enjoy on behalf of me. They love cynical jokes.

I'M DEPRESSED because I'm losing out of reasons to be depressed....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Quotes from the Movies/Series

"Vanity is the best sin," Devil's Advocate

"Daddy, why is the sky blue in colour? Daddy, why is the orange round in shape?" I am Sam

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Desperate Housewives

"These minor things matter. Because if we can't manage through these minor things in life, how would we be able to manage through when a crisis like a cancer comes into our lives," Desperate Housewives

"Listen, to this song here in my heart," Dreamgirls

"You want something that you don't have," Marley & Me

"If you can't find Mr. Right, look for Mr. Right-Now," Sweetest Thing

"The dish ain't gonna wash themselves," O.C

"Condoms? I have them in my mouth all the time," Sex and the City

"Abso-fucking-lutely," Sex and the city

Its either I'm forgetful or I'm getting drunk with the 4th or 5th glass of vodka that I'm having but mind me if I've quoted the lines a bit different from the original, I can't remember some of them clearly, but I clearly remember that I love those movies/series.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Indeciveness/Fickleness

I'm such a fickle minded creature.

Last year around May 2008, I had a job which I won't say was paying me with an extravagant salary but I was beginning to see some real cash sitting in my bank account after struggling through like any fresh graduate would for a year or so. My ex-boss remembers my name and I was performing at the expected level. I was bonding pretty well with my colleagues. We have these get-together-bitching-about-bosses-happy-hour-sessions and we also have these get-together-bitching-about-clients-dinner-sessions. Ahh... life is so sweet when you found some companionship in hating certain people in your life.

But... I realised life had been too easy for me. What's life without some challenges and obstacles? I begun to lust for something that I don't have. I tendered my resignation and joined another big firm doing something different from what I was previously doing. With my discounted experience, I got myself a pay-cut. One month into the job I managed to fetch some feedback from a senior colleague which goes like this,

"You are performing below average. It's very competitive in our firm. I hope you can take this positively."

I did not give up... I was thinking to myself if I can be a lil' bit harder on myself and if I turned myself into this more hardworking, more stubborn, more work-life-imbalanced and more miserable auditor, I would finally be performing at the "expected" level.

Being the naturally big-spender, how on earth would somebody who craves travelling, shopping, drinking and eating meet months end when she is earning a mere 2.5k salary per month in KL. Not to mention the horrifying debts I owned and am still currently owning to CIMB, Alliance & HSBC. So I took up this loan of 10k to pay-off the debts, thinking that I would then manage through. But alas, I underestimated my lifestyle, it is in fact one hell of an expensive lifestyle to maintain. Yeah, I know... Say it, say that I'm just a spoilt brat who still doesn't know how to save for herself after working for like almost 3 years now.

My level of determination in doing what I thought would interest me was simply pathetic. 3 months in the job, I begun to search around for another better-paying job. Blame it on the recession rather than myself being a not very outstanding candidate, I did not manage to win the job over the interview. My next resort was to make a big u-turn back to my ex-company. But they told me that they had freeze recruitment. Hmmm...

After some arrangements made by my ex-boss, they finally offered me a come-back with a pay rise. Offer letter issued and received but I was still undecided on the career/financial move that I should make. I was inspired by my friend's joke on me: Toss the coin to decide my career. Out of desperation, I went along with his idea. The first time I tossed it, resign. The second time I tossed it, don't resign. The third time I tossed it, resign. The fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh, the eighth... the list is non exhaustive. I think I tossed it so many times that I was beginning to confuse not only myself but also the poor little 50c coin and I might as well begin plucking the petals of a rose as an alternative.

Few days ago, I called up my ex-boss and told her that I won't be joining the company after all. And to think that I finally put an end to this silly hassle... I did not. Few minutes ago, I called up my ex-boss again and I asked her if it would be fine if I change my mind now. She exclaimed, "LPY!" followed by some laughter and questions. Before we hung up the phone she told me in a serious tone, "My advise to you is you should really make up your mind before calling SC(my ultimate boss) again."

I don't know what others think of me, but I'm totally blown-out by my outrageous indecisiveness, fickleness and vacillation.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Personality TEST

Try out this interesting personality test at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx and see how well the description fits u

It's pretty much the same answer for most people. So here goes...

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I screwed up 51% of my teenage life

Tagged by Cat

[x] Gotten detention. (not really detention, but I was punished to wash all toilets, mop the canteen flr, wipe all canteen tables, sweep 9 blks, etc.)
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.
[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times.
[x] Didn’t do homework over 5 times (I only do projects, homework don't earn marks do they?)
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late
[x] Missed school cause you felt like it. (and forced my best friend to miss it too although she doesn't feel like it)
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.
[x] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school. (abused my period pain)
[x] Texted people during class.
[x] Passed notes.
[ ] Threw stuff across the room.
[ ] Laughed at the teacher.
[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[ ] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school.
[ ] Took Pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during School hours.
[x] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission. (I went to buy Pringles. Cat... Cat...)
[x] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class. (Never passed Add Maths, Physics, Biology and Chemistry throughout my school days except during SPM)
[x] Ate food during class. (Worst case: Nasi Lemak in the air-conditioned lecture hall)
[x] Gotten a call from school. (and both my parents avoided to be the one responsibled to meet the teachers in school)
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[x] Didn’t take your stuff to school. (books are sooo heavy)
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[ ] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
[x] Faked your parents signature (during primary school)
[x] Slept in class. (My cartoon icon in my F5 class t-shirt is the girl with many zzzZZs)
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[x] Copied homework (Many thanks to: Khaw Pei Yee, Cindy Goh, Wong Wei Ru, Chen Woann Yunn, Yeoh Chee Siang, Teo Mei See, Ng Yee Ling, Lim Woon Nee, Lee Joy Fui, Leow Chee Wai and etc.)

Score:
18/35 = 51%

I'm a GOODY TWO SHOES.... GOODY TWO SHOES.... GOODY TWO SHOES ;=p

Let's do this, its fun.
Tag 20 of your friends.
Then Repost this & put the Title as "I screwed up ___% of my teenage life"

Monday, March 2, 2009

My Double Standards

I'm not bothered when I littered your car or your room,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I nag you like I'm your mother...

I'm not bothered when I chained smoke in my own room,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll tell you, "It's very suffocating, I can't breathe..."

I'm not bothered when I forced you to eat in the restaurant that you don't fancy,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll start poking at my own food instead of eating them up...

I'm not bothered when I snored as I slept like a baby,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll cruelly tell you to sleep in the living room...

I'm not bothered when I don't pay your bills,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll tell you, "You are so stingy..."

I'm not bothered when I told you that you aren't exactly good looking,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll give you my pout...

I'm not bothered when I forgot to reply your message while I'm out having fun,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I throw a tantrum...

I'm not bothered when I was too busy to return your morning greetings,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I feel that you don't care...

I'm not bothered when I was flirting shamelessly with my guy friends,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll tug your sleeve, pull your ear or bite your arm...

I'm not bothered when I told you about the good times I used to have with my ex-es,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll turn green in jealousy thinking that you can't let go...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Post CNY

Every Chinese on earth will have their eyes widely staring at me when they hear me say this. Damn I hate CNY... Why do I have to loose so much money during the endless gambling sessions during CNY? Its barely mid of the month and I have less than 10 bucks sitting in my bank account.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 random things, facts, habits or goals

Tagged by Cat

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I'm born in Kelantan, moved to Iph when I was 10 and moved to KL when I was 20.

2. I weight 52 when I was 12, 44 when I was 16 and 50 when I am 26.

3. I love my lips but hate my teeth.

4. I love shoes and I own more than 30 pairs.

5. I love jigsaw puzzle and novels but has neither the space nor time to do it nowadays.

6. I'm afraid of birds, chickens, ducks and goose but I like eating the last 3 mentioned.

7. I love beef of any kind.

8. I play piano with a Grade 5.

9. My eyes turn teary when my dad or bro raise his voice at me but when my mom does that, I raise my voice even louder.

10. My best friend's name is Choo Siew Lean.

11. My ambition when I was 7 was to be a lawyer, air-hostess or accountant. I almost became an air hostess when I was 18 but did not have the courage to do so and I still yearn for it as at to-date. I am almost an accountant now but I don't love my job.

12. I love beaches but I don't know how to swim.

13. I once own more than 500 lighters as my collection at home.

14. I pick up smoking, drinking and drugs when I was 14. Am still a hardcore drinker and smoker, but am not a drug addict.

15. I pierced my nose more than 5 times and I had at max 7 piercing per ear. I now stopped and ended with 3 on my ears, 1 on my belly and a tatto at my back.

16. I can't sleep with people who snore but I can sleep with myself snoring :P

17. I have the habit of picking my nose while I'm sleeping and I will only realise it after I wake up and look at my fingernails. Gross!

18. The craziest thing I ever did is to wash my hair outdoor with my best friend, under the heavy rain. We got the inspiration from the advertisement of Herbal Essense Shampoo.

19. The last time I cried was almost a week ago, during cny, when my brother refuse to lend me his handphone after mine has broken down. Shame on me,but I got my way with it. :)

20. The last time I broke-up with my ex, I smashed a bottle on his head. He didn't end up with any stitches.

21. I'm afraid of marriage because I don't believe human beings are able to stay loyal/faithful.

22. I had my first crush when I was 9 and had my first kiss when I was 14.

23. I dated tomboy twice in school.

24. I often wake up in the middle of the night from nightmare and coldsweat but I don't remember the dream.

25. He ain't really listening at the moment.

Copied and pasted over from my notes in facebook. It's not easy to write such a long list about myself. By the time I reach no. 15, I was getting impatient and losing ideas on the kind of random things that I should write about myself. However, by the time I reach no. 25, I was actually enjoying it and was a bit sad that I have to stop at no. 25. This only proves myself as a self centered and self absorbed being. But I prefer to think it as self loving, which I applause myself for it :)

Monday, January 19, 2009

A friend who seems to know me quite well

Over a Saturday lunch at Curve, I managed to fetch these comments from a friend:
  • PY, you have commitment phobia don't you but yet you are so terrified of loneliness
  • PY, you look quite mature don't you but yet in your inner self you are quite a kid
  • PY, you won't stop thinking about the various options you have in life don't you but yet you are quite lost and have not figure out what you want in life

I have to admit, though he is not a very close or old friend of mine, but the things he said about me were slightly true.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Moving On

That night she came home and took a look at the calendar; 6th of January 2009. She paused for a second thinking what was the event that she had missed. Then the bells rang in her mind and she recalled what she had almost forgotten; 3rd of January 2009. This date marked the 2nd year from the day they allow tears to roll down their cheeks.

It's almost unbelievable how things have now turned. When she wanted to move on so badly, he seems to have hung on to her mind like a leech but without herself realising, she somehow moved on and her mind felt happiness long after her heart felt it.

Her hatred for their past no longer occupied a space in her heart nor her mind. What is left now are just some memories of how comfortable they once used to be when they were together. To be honest with herself, she was glad that chapter of her life has ended. Though it did not ended in a gentle way but it certainly ended with a good purpose. Just like a splash of cold water in one's face early in the morning. Freezing but does a lot to wake one up from the sleepiness.

As her body felt the fatigue from the long hard day, she began to find her way to her bed. Laying on the bed, she realised she found peace as she found forgiveness in her heart. Closing her eyes and resting her mind, she dozed off moving on to a bright new day.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

My New Year Eve: Ministry of Sound

I love my new year eve party at Ministry of Sound. It was as though every piece to make a great party got themselves right in place last night :)

The place: Fabulous and posh interior with amazing lightnings and sound system. We love the dance floor. It was simply a bizarre. It was as though the wave of the sound was directed to the dance floor. As we were grooving to the music on the dance floor, we can feel the music in our head and not just hitting to our skin. Can't visualise it? Try thinking the difference of listening to music with a headphone as compared to some normal small PC speakers ;)

The music: I don't need to further elaborate on that as we will never doubt the quality of the music played by the DJs at MOS. The mix were fantastic :)

The crowd: As they managed their headcounts strictly, if I'm not mistaken 2000 only for that night, they had just the right amount of clubbers to make the party alive and yet bearable that we don't spend most of our time trying to squeeze around or queuing up for the washroom ;)

Our table: Initially, there were some complications. Our own headcount grew bigger than we have expected and we could no longer fit ourselves to the couch booked, which were way too small for us. N resolved it and managed to move us to another bigger couch. Apologies N, that we spoilt the party a lil' bit. So... Thanks a bunch N! Way to go N! Two thumbs up N! :)

Our drinks: We had 12 bottles of whiskey with us, which alas, we couldn't finish... Well, I just want to enjoy myself with the right amount of alcohol. Misbehaving was a big NO NO for me that night. I don't want to wake up with a horrible headache. Definitely not a good way to start off my 2009 ;)

Our people: Yes, people. Being the soul of a great party. I had some very good and fun friends who managed to make it there for the party. In fact it was not some, but a lot of my good old friends were there with me last night. There were more than 20 of us there :)

If you are a clubber, you would wish you were there too. But if you are not one, you may tell me, "Get a life, PY. What else do you do other than club on each and every one of these festive days." Yeah, I'm a hardcore clubber and I'm not ashamed of it. I love it ... ;)