Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Depression on Wednesday Night

Can I just type this repeatedly .... I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED I'M DEPRESSED & I'M DEPRESSED

I'M DEPRESSED because my accounts won't balance just because some idiot forgotten to reverse the prior year adjustment taken up in current year. Ok, I know you won't understand a single thing that I'm writing here, unless you are an auditor.

I'M DEPRESSED because I had to have my home-brought lunch with some indian lady in the pantry. I don't know her and she just happened to be sitted at the same table with me while I'm having lunch on my own. I hate lunch with strangers.

I'M DEPRESSED because I did not have my dinner tonight and I'm annoyed that he's still playing pool after I told him I'm hungry.

I'M DEPRESSED because I had to rush home from my happy hour session after receiving her call instructing me to go home and replicate my work just so that she can brief me on tomorrow's work. Ok, with the alcohol consumption, none of the things she said after that went in my brain.

I'M DEPRESSED because I'm drinking vodka at home while my girlfriends are enjoying themselves in Quattro. On top of that, they told me they will enjoy on behalf of me. They love cynical jokes.

I'M DEPRESSED because I'm losing out of reasons to be depressed....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Quotes from the Movies/Series

"Vanity is the best sin," Devil's Advocate

"Daddy, why is the sky blue in colour? Daddy, why is the orange round in shape?" I am Sam

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Desperate Housewives

"These minor things matter. Because if we can't manage through these minor things in life, how would we be able to manage through when a crisis like a cancer comes into our lives," Desperate Housewives

"Listen, to this song here in my heart," Dreamgirls

"You want something that you don't have," Marley & Me

"If you can't find Mr. Right, look for Mr. Right-Now," Sweetest Thing

"The dish ain't gonna wash themselves," O.C

"Condoms? I have them in my mouth all the time," Sex and the City

"Abso-fucking-lutely," Sex and the city

Its either I'm forgetful or I'm getting drunk with the 4th or 5th glass of vodka that I'm having but mind me if I've quoted the lines a bit different from the original, I can't remember some of them clearly, but I clearly remember that I love those movies/series.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Indeciveness/Fickleness

I'm such a fickle minded creature.

Last year around May 2008, I had a job which I won't say was paying me with an extravagant salary but I was beginning to see some real cash sitting in my bank account after struggling through like any fresh graduate would for a year or so. My ex-boss remembers my name and I was performing at the expected level. I was bonding pretty well with my colleagues. We have these get-together-bitching-about-bosses-happy-hour-sessions and we also have these get-together-bitching-about-clients-dinner-sessions. Ahh... life is so sweet when you found some companionship in hating certain people in your life.

But... I realised life had been too easy for me. What's life without some challenges and obstacles? I begun to lust for something that I don't have. I tendered my resignation and joined another big firm doing something different from what I was previously doing. With my discounted experience, I got myself a pay-cut. One month into the job I managed to fetch some feedback from a senior colleague which goes like this,

"You are performing below average. It's very competitive in our firm. I hope you can take this positively."

I did not give up... I was thinking to myself if I can be a lil' bit harder on myself and if I turned myself into this more hardworking, more stubborn, more work-life-imbalanced and more miserable auditor, I would finally be performing at the "expected" level.

Being the naturally big-spender, how on earth would somebody who craves travelling, shopping, drinking and eating meet months end when she is earning a mere 2.5k salary per month in KL. Not to mention the horrifying debts I owned and am still currently owning to CIMB, Alliance & HSBC. So I took up this loan of 10k to pay-off the debts, thinking that I would then manage through. But alas, I underestimated my lifestyle, it is in fact one hell of an expensive lifestyle to maintain. Yeah, I know... Say it, say that I'm just a spoilt brat who still doesn't know how to save for herself after working for like almost 3 years now.

My level of determination in doing what I thought would interest me was simply pathetic. 3 months in the job, I begun to search around for another better-paying job. Blame it on the recession rather than myself being a not very outstanding candidate, I did not manage to win the job over the interview. My next resort was to make a big u-turn back to my ex-company. But they told me that they had freeze recruitment. Hmmm...

After some arrangements made by my ex-boss, they finally offered me a come-back with a pay rise. Offer letter issued and received but I was still undecided on the career/financial move that I should make. I was inspired by my friend's joke on me: Toss the coin to decide my career. Out of desperation, I went along with his idea. The first time I tossed it, resign. The second time I tossed it, don't resign. The third time I tossed it, resign. The fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh, the eighth... the list is non exhaustive. I think I tossed it so many times that I was beginning to confuse not only myself but also the poor little 50c coin and I might as well begin plucking the petals of a rose as an alternative.

Few days ago, I called up my ex-boss and told her that I won't be joining the company after all. And to think that I finally put an end to this silly hassle... I did not. Few minutes ago, I called up my ex-boss again and I asked her if it would be fine if I change my mind now. She exclaimed, "LPY!" followed by some laughter and questions. Before we hung up the phone she told me in a serious tone, "My advise to you is you should really make up your mind before calling SC(my ultimate boss) again."

I don't know what others think of me, but I'm totally blown-out by my outrageous indecisiveness, fickleness and vacillation.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Personality TEST

Try out this interesting personality test at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx and see how well the description fits u

It's pretty much the same answer for most people. So here goes...

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I screwed up 51% of my teenage life

Tagged by Cat

[x] Gotten detention. (not really detention, but I was punished to wash all toilets, mop the canteen flr, wipe all canteen tables, sweep 9 blks, etc.)
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.
[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times.
[x] Didn’t do homework over 5 times (I only do projects, homework don't earn marks do they?)
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late
[x] Missed school cause you felt like it. (and forced my best friend to miss it too although she doesn't feel like it)
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.
[x] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school. (abused my period pain)
[x] Texted people during class.
[x] Passed notes.
[ ] Threw stuff across the room.
[ ] Laughed at the teacher.
[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[ ] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school.
[ ] Took Pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during School hours.
[x] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission. (I went to buy Pringles. Cat... Cat...)
[x] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class. (Never passed Add Maths, Physics, Biology and Chemistry throughout my school days except during SPM)
[x] Ate food during class. (Worst case: Nasi Lemak in the air-conditioned lecture hall)
[x] Gotten a call from school. (and both my parents avoided to be the one responsibled to meet the teachers in school)
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[x] Didn’t take your stuff to school. (books are sooo heavy)
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[ ] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
[x] Faked your parents signature (during primary school)
[x] Slept in class. (My cartoon icon in my F5 class t-shirt is the girl with many zzzZZs)
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[x] Copied homework (Many thanks to: Khaw Pei Yee, Cindy Goh, Wong Wei Ru, Chen Woann Yunn, Yeoh Chee Siang, Teo Mei See, Ng Yee Ling, Lim Woon Nee, Lee Joy Fui, Leow Chee Wai and etc.)

Score:
18/35 = 51%

I'm a GOODY TWO SHOES.... GOODY TWO SHOES.... GOODY TWO SHOES ;=p

Let's do this, its fun.
Tag 20 of your friends.
Then Repost this & put the Title as "I screwed up ___% of my teenage life"

Monday, March 2, 2009

My Double Standards

I'm not bothered when I littered your car or your room,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I nag you like I'm your mother...

I'm not bothered when I chained smoke in my own room,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll tell you, "It's very suffocating, I can't breathe..."

I'm not bothered when I forced you to eat in the restaurant that you don't fancy,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll start poking at my own food instead of eating them up...

I'm not bothered when I snored as I slept like a baby,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll cruelly tell you to sleep in the living room...

I'm not bothered when I don't pay your bills,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll tell you, "You are so stingy..."

I'm not bothered when I told you that you aren't exactly good looking,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll give you my pout...

I'm not bothered when I forgot to reply your message while I'm out having fun,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I throw a tantrum...

I'm not bothered when I was too busy to return your morning greetings,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I feel that you don't care...

I'm not bothered when I was flirting shamelessly with my guy friends,
But to my own surpise, when you did, I'll tug your sleeve, pull your ear or bite your arm...

I'm not bothered when I told you about the good times I used to have with my ex-es,
But to my own surprise, when you did, I'll turn green in jealousy thinking that you can't let go...