Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Status of my 5 Cs

I'm exhausted from work. The other day, I asked C if he finds value in the work that we do. He told me he does, surprisingly. And I thought to myself, I don't. Where is the value when all we ever rushed for was meeting the budget and personal KPIs, rather than delivering added values to clients.

Have been living in quite a comfort for the past few months. Living out of ignorance of the previous debts, I've seemed to committed myself to too much commitments. Sigh... Credits crashing on me again. I refused to myself silently, I shall not live the days where I wake up to worry about my daily expenses again.

AFU... Poor him. The jaw is scratched and there's a gap. I wonder when the day will come when I bring you to see the doc. Not that I don't want to, but I simply have no idea where to bring you to. If only there's a knight to save you from your pain at the moment. Alright.. I shall try harder in searching for your knight.

With WY probably moving out soon if her interview goes well in SG, I'm now scratching my head for another new housemate and another new cleanliness/messiness situation around my nest.. I began to day dream on buying my own place.......... For the first time in so many years, I'm finally ready to make a commitment to a roof. And I wonder if BT were right, I am in fact changing to another person.. Perhaps better person?

I own CC from HSBC, CIMB, PBB and Alliance. So long so for my future saving plans......

Monday, November 1, 2010

The art of Relationships & Lies

Had dinner with the girls at Damansara Village and it was all about gossips. It was filled with laughters that almost made me cry. On the other hand, I felt sad for one of the character of our gossips. It was actually a close friend of mine. I wonder if she was purely living out of ignorance or she had choose to live one. Hers... was a total tragic story. Summary of the story, she didn't earn much respect from her man and her disgrace was a laughing stock of us over our dinner. Damn ... I agree... We are indeed a bunch of bitches.

At the back of my mind, I wondered if I was the laughing stock of theirs few months back. Might as well not upset myself with that thought.

Felt that C was hinting to me that I was related to part of the story told. Once the dinner ended and we have gotten back into our cars, I started to question the other C again. Of a question which he had never answered me. And on this particular night, the sudden urge came for me to question him again. He finally admitted. Yes, he bitched about me in front of my good friend. When I further probed him what the conversation was all about. He just simply brushed the matter off with a tight hug, wet kiss and cliche phrase of.. "Sweetieee...."

Not that I don't like those actions and words. But sometimes these doesn't work. I gave him a chance to be honest, which I wasn't sure what I will get in return by him being honest. However, being girls always being girls, we love to dig... Yes, we do. Love digging the truth, the truth would hurt.

Once the matter was brushed off, I thought to myself silently. Perhaps I should just let go of the matter. After all, right this moment, we are indeed neck to neck on lying to each other. We both know we lie, be it a white lie or a selfish lie. But we do. If you can handle my lies without further questioning, I should as well... So long as we both continue do believe in each other, care about each other and love about each other with LIES....