Sunday, February 13, 2011

I'm NOT yours

The scene remain vivid in my mind. I thought it was just another one of those routine argument of ours. But it isn't. Perhaps I should say he was just being his routine self, and I'm not. I got exhausted begging for it...

While on the phone, I could feel the tears within my eyes and within my heart. But I hold it strong, as I tell myself, this is not going to be another routine scene.

Felt like screaming at the top of my lungs after we hang up. But it wasn't convenient as it was in public. I'm not a crazy woman.

Called up my best friend to tell her how upset I was. I thought I would break down while talking with her. But I didn't. Quickly brushed off the matter telling her I just want to drive home.

Reached home. Nobody was around. Took a look at the house. It was filled with all the memories that we had, though we never stayed together. Every corner of the house seems to be filled with the thought of him. I murmured to myself, "It's over, it's really over... really over... really over."

Tears once again recollected itself. But I quickly dried them up. Went out for some drinks, thinking perhaps it would put my mind off things.

After a couple of drinks, my friend gave me a pat on my head and shoulders. Not sure if it was the pat on the head and shoulders or if it was with the alcohol influence, I finally broke down. Quavering, I cried my heart out of it.

It was another painful moment. As though a knife has just cut itself through my heart.

The next day, I woke up. Put aside everything. And I thought to myself, "Hey... it isn't that bad. I got over it pretty quick."