Monday, October 24, 2011

My 3 simple wishes

If I can have any three wishes right this moment:

  •  I wish the house, the dishes and the clothes will clean themselves
  • I wish I have my own property with two ideal girlfriends living together with me and an ideal boyfriend staying over the weekend every fortnight 
  • I wish my existing debts will turn into assets

That's not too much to ask for right? I didn't even ask for a million dollars to be sitting in my bank account and I know my above wishes can be done with less than a million, probably excluding the two ideal girlfriends and one ideal boyfriend.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Unconditional Love

Who made what I am today?

  • She introduced me to TVB while I learn how to walk. Thanks to her I now stay up late till morning just to complete whichever TVB series I'm watching.
  • She whipped me mercilessly when I told my first lie. Thanks to her whipping, I suck in lying today.
  • I would throw a tantrum due to the noises of her mahjong playing. She will obediently stop once I complain. Thanks to her putting up with me, I graduate with above average results.
  • She worked her ass off trying to payoff my bills. I saw corns on her fingers and toes because she worked too hard. Felt a knife cut through my heart when I realise I caused her so much paint on her joints and back, just because I was fucking rebellious. 
  • I watched her back as she was preparing my favourite meal, perspire on her forehead, with all the heat from cooking. I doubt I would be able to cook her an equally tasty dish.
She's my mom.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Cracking the Girl's Code

Girl's code. I think kinda broken that within these few weeks.

Perhaps I've done too much or said too much. Whatever I've said and done, I'm pretty sure I'm not trying to be nice just so that I can have a few more drinking friends. If I want a beer with companionship, I'll fucking go and have the beer. I don't need anybody's permission. 

I'm being nice and putting up with your snappish attitude because you are my friend and I'm generally protective of my friends. 

I could easily take your side with couple of white lies. But I didn't. I've chosen to be honest, just so that you can take a step back and stop being stubborn and angry, which at the end of the day would benefit yourself. Perspective differences. That would be the preferred way of me describing the situation. Not taking any sides.

Given the circumstances, you made it pretty clear that honesty is not the best policy. Fine, I'll just zip it up. Not commenting and not conveying any messages that I think you ought to know. 

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Tentatively: Singapore in 2012

The first time I've thought of leaving Malaysia was when I was a teenager. In those days, just like most teenagers do, I would day dream about furthering my studies in one of those western countries. Why did I had that thought in my mind back then? Being a confused teenager, I was looking forward to the day when I return from my studies as a totally revamped and different person. Teenagers... They just try so hard to be "different" but in fact they are just a bunch of fools.

The second time I've thought of leaving Malaysia was when I was a young adult. I wanted so much to be an air-hostess so that I will be given the chance to see the world. I got the offer but I chickened out. Why did I chickened out? I had a heavy heart for my group of good friends and my studies. I thought I was pretty smart with my slightly above average academic results and could go further with my studies which would promise me a brighter future and better profession than an air-hostess.

After almost 10 years in KL, I'm now experiencing my third time of thinking about leaving Malaysia again. I know I'm no longer a fool. And I hope I won't chicken out again. I'm not the kind of person whom can easily move out of her own comfort zone. As I usually quote myself to others, I'm change resistance. But looking at my debts, I guess it's a critical situation requiring critical remedy to it. Given the choice, without all the debts, I would happily settle in KL for the rest of my single life. But I guess my life is not a bed of roses. It's time. Singapore in 2012.