A friend recently asked, if he pops up one day and tell you that he wants to mend things up, how would I react?
Without a second thought, I told my friend, it would be a NO with capitals. And I realised it has been more than a year since the ugly bit.
When my friend asked why, I told her I could never forgive myself for the silly things I did when I was with him. It's true. When I mention silly, I wasn't referring to silly sweet things that I did and I regret I did. It's the crazy bitch within myself.
I'm not being emotional and putting all the blame on myself. And neither am I being angry and putting all the blame on him. Frankly speaking, I was a bitch and he was equally bastardy as well.
He once called me a bummer who's only intrigued by alcohol and I once whacked him with an ashtray. *Sweet*
I once sneaked into his phone, msn, laptop, facebook and his house in fact. And he once sneaked into my blog and misinterpreted my "Cheating" post as cheating on him and found that post as a good excuse to break it off with me, despite me convincing and him believing me that I didn't cheat on him, but yet he insisted on the break up.
I cut myself on my hand to threaten him to stay on... He stayed but added on with a catchy phrase, that he'll despise me more with the threat and he hates irrational woman. He looked me into my eyes and told me, you're crazy. The most hurtful part is, when he looked me into my eyes, I could tell that he was being honest and serious. But didn't he realised that I was crazy because I loved him more than anything in my world. Back then.
I thanked him in a way in bringing me up. Sincerely. I'm done with rebound and done with him. I guess I will never crack another piece of glass or anything breakable for another man again. And I cross my fingers on that.